X Is Where I Am

A memoir about mourning, desire and love between women, mothers, and daughters. While her mother dies of cancer in a northern city, the protagonist is making love with a woman in a hotel in Barcelona. She will catch a flight to visit her mother the next morning, but it is already too late. Shortly after, her lover abruptly and definitively disappears. Her partner returns from London to live with her in a small apartment by the sea, trying to calm and sustain her, while she weeps for a mother and longs for a lover. ?To love is to love always after my mother. I can?t talk to mom, and I can?t talk to Her either. My life has been suspended by the interruption of those two conversations.? The author catches up on these dialogues, investigating the limits of abandonment and longing, trying to understand a mother who marked the life of her daughter with her overwhelming way of loving. The narrative debut of award-winning poet Sara Torres combines lyricism and honesty to navigate grief, love and desire, her quests and her losses. The result of this journey is a map of the many cracks that make us human; an invitation to caress without fear the scars that make us who we are.